Head story…life fruition

Head story…life fruition

Head story…life fruition

“To see a person and judge them for just that is to only see what they are in the moment and to miss completely who they are in totality.”-ME

I wrote this whole post before I realized what it was I wanted to say, this post is about story, if you aren’t interested I am not offended if you stop reading now, you may or may not be missing out on something. I am not talking about the kind of story that is made up, I am talking about a new understanding of what it means to have a story. So, here’s my thought…

People who know me personally say that I have a weird desire to know things. Before you let your imagination go wild with that, hold up, let me reign you in. I say “weird” because I like to learn, and for a while I kind of, maybe, made a career out of being in school and most people thought that that was weird. I actually enjoy learning; I have a desire to know more about the things I see. Call me crazy, but I believe that there is more to everything than what is just in front of our eyes.

When I see something, pretty much anything really, I want to know the things that helped to shape it, how it came to be what it is, I want to know its story. Its not at all a judgmental “why” (picture a sassy thirteen year old girl standing in front of you with hands on her hips, eyes narrowed, and eyebrows raised uttering an attitude filled “why?”) it’s the curious kind,  the, I want to know more about this “why” (picture a 3 year old realizing the sky is blue and wanting to know with every fiber in their being how it came to be that way.) Everything is a product of its parts. I don’t have a real understanding of the product until I see the parts. Everyone has a story; everyone has parts that make up the product of who they are.

Very few things are actually spontaneous, actually…nothing is spontaneous, not really; anything that comes to be was first thought about prior to its fruition, that thought however, may or may not be conscious so sometimes we may be under the false pretense that things can actually be spontaneous. “It’s a lie I tell you!”

Everything in existence, exists for a reason, how a person is only makes sense in relation to their story. To take something at face value is to walk in on a joke right as the punch line is being said, you laugh because you see other people laughing, but in reality you’re confused and don’t get it. When you laugh and its for real, its because you heard the whole joke. (Either that, or you’re just one of those people who laughs at things that maybe don’t warrant a laugh and then I would venture out to say that it’s a nervous laugh, check back later for posts on that.)

Only when we look in with curiosity can we begin to look at our story for what it is and see it just as it is: the chronological timeline of how we came to be who we are today, its really nothing more than that. When we remove all the judgment and look at our story as fact, as historical fact, we can begin to understand how we have come to be the people we are today. Things only make sense when we know the whole story. History is never past because it plays an active role in shaping the present. When we look at ourselves as a product of everything that has ever happened to us, we get to see how things have played a part in how we show up each and everyday. We cannot move forward into something different until we have some sort of understanding about how we came to be.

“I am the sum total of everything that went before me, of all I have been, seen, done; of everything done-to-me. I am everyone everything whose being-in-the-world affected was affected by mine. I am anything that happens after I’m gone which would not have happened if I had not come.” Salman Rushdie (from Midnight’s Children)

(It’s a wordy quote, read it a few times and then walk away from it, seriously…just let it simmer.)

But ultimately, all I am trying to say, is that we are a product of our stories and will forever be. When we like or dislike something in our current selves, we need to look at our story in terms of facts so we can see how we might have come to be that way. The more we accept our story (real acceptance, the kind that says “yup, that’s how it was, and realize we can’t change the past) the better chance we have to be the character we want to be, as we pick up the pen and write the next chapter of our story.